Recent Comments

10/12/21, 11:45 AM
It just occurred to me what a little devil Ruby is. He gave Christian a couple of suppositories and then proceeded to pass him off to Titan without warning him. That should be hilarious when it plays out. I can't wait.
Oct 10, 2021
10/12/21, 11:27 AM
I love listening to old school leathermen talk about their experiences so much. Thank you for sharing this story and these insights with us.
easdf
10/12/21, 11:22 AM
This was excellent! Creative idea and you handled the plot great even though you have a lot of characters. I'm a bit confused about the sex videos scene though. Who was that man and how did he get in? Also (and mostly) I'm surprised that Trevor just let him go without beating his ass or demanding that he will take the videos off the internet. Seemed like the obvious thing to do and Trevor is a clever and kind hearted man (you can tell who's my favorite)
10/12/21, 11:15 AM
Wow! This chapter was amazing. Really seeing different sides to everyone and it makes me want to see more of these characters and get to know them better.
10/12/21, 10:59 AM
I really like where this is going. Ruby is going to bring out a whole different side of this cop.
Kent
10/12/21, 10:34 AM
2!!!
10/12/21, 7:45 AM
Wonderful, as always!
10/11/21, 12:24 AM
Obviously the white noise and hypnotic stuff is fantasy added to explain slight changes in future chapters. From what I can tell other than forgetting to remove the jock from his mouth and pain randomly disappearing, there weren't too many problems except when it came to the tail and beating of course, forced in to a virgin behind with only a finger a typical plug tail will either fail to go in (many have to work their way up to it or only get it in after intense anal) or cause a rupture and bleeding, I've encountered that personally. I suspect he'd need a doctor right now. So anything further will cause some serious problems. As for feedback, psychology shows changes rarely cement otherwise this is called a paradigm shift. These are intensely rare. But you'll never get anywhere without the good cop to the bad cop and positive reinforcement statistically works better. All this is to say a better temporary submission would occur from seeing the Alpha play with his pups and just being around and for some individual who has not shown any negativity or could be relatable to the officer to actually engage with him and only show positivity. Ruby should have been that no sexual bondage or toying just kindness, chats (though he isn't allowed to talk now he obviously will still), relatable stories, and then the positive of pup play. Surprised the Alpha didnt reign in his pup for basically internally injuring and failing to cause any connection. Having to have a "doctor friend" unrealistic as that is, come over for the officer could have put some perspective and been a good character development for all the pups. Maybe even punish some of the other pups. I highly suspect the paddle has been used on them among other things given the dialog throughout chapters about punishments. Anyway, that's my feedback for this chapter, curious to see the next.

10/11/21, 2:35 AM
I cannot decide if your deep dive analysis of this thing I write with one hand on my dick and the other on my keyboard is highly impressive or mildly annoying. I do appreciate the insightful feedback and hope your at least enjoying the story enough that you can get off to it. @Astradei

10/12/21, 6:26 AM
Since it isn't magic or technology etc then it has the potential to be something we might imagine maybe happening. Weaknesses in that or even just different thoughts are pointed out because of the breach of immersion. With exceptions other than the writing quality itself, there's not much I can give feedback on in fantasy spiral stories unless a character is just toxic. Sometimes the good guy is shit though. @Alpha Artemis
10/11/21, 8:58 PM
Wow, i love this series and concept. Charlie was SO close to truly getting what he wants. Question: since this is a community series, is it alright if someone else adds a chapter in this series? I'm asking because i really love this concept and i kinda want to write a story with it. And if i can, could i write the story with a whole different cast and plot (kinda like an anthology) or should i just use the characters and write the story like it originally is but with different events? (for example, if Charlie wrote the professor to have a heart tattoo or something). I really like this story and I'm glad that you're writing it, have a nice day!

Oddballs
10/11/21, 9:59 PM
@BlackJaxus huh. Good question. I guess use your own characters? It would make the most sense. Maybe as long as its clear that it's the same concept, same notebook (a separate copy, obviously, with any notebook). Take a swing at it.

10/11/21, 11:08 PM
@Oddballs Wow thanks for answering! i only have a few questions so i understand how notebook works better. Can you change peoples past with the notebook, like if someone were to change a persons past and memories so that they worked at a convenient store for all their life, would that work? Can the notebook change a persons physical appearance, like giving a person a beard, or can it only make mental changes? Can the Notebook give mental changes that give knowledge and intelligence they wouldn't normally know such as "This person can now speak and understand fluent spanish"? and can the notebook change reality, such as if a person wants to make it so that their jobless best friend works at bowling alley, would the change happen? I'm sorry if these questions were already answered by the story or were answered somewhere else, I just want to understand the limitations. Thank you for your patience.

Oddballs
10/12/21, 12:24 AM
@BlackJaxus Alright here's the answers in order: 1) The notebook CANNOT rewrite the past as far as people's personal backgrounds go - the only thing that comes close to changing the past is ripping out a used page to undo what was done. 2) The notebook CANNOT instantly change someone’s appearance, like drawing a beard would not make one grow overnight. It only adds or changes them mentally or emotionally with quirks. For physical changes to happen, the drawing on the page would have to have a beard, and the person the sketch is about would just stop shaving until the beard is grown. Or else have to write down a quirk that says ‘has an eating habit’ or ‘works out religiously everyday’ if you had wanted them to turn fat or muscular. Or drawing a specific outfit would make them go out and buy or acquire the outfit in question – hence why Prof Dover got himself a skimpy speedo and a thong. 3) The notebook CANNOT give them additional knowledge like instantly learning another language… Or maybe it can? I haven’t given that notion much thought, to be honest. It’s definitely a grey area, I guess. In this case, I might say that for a second language to happen, the person being drawn would have a very easy learning curve for taking on another dialect. 4) The notebook CANNOT change reality itself, other than the fail-safe page ripping reset. But it can find ways to make it happen; if you were to write that the person’s friend works at the bowling alley, the person in question would turn in a job application and get hired promptly.

10/12/21, 12:47 AM
@Oddballs Thanks for answering and for your patience. This information will be useful thank you.

Oddballs
10/12/21, 1:58 AM
@BlackJaxus you're welcome, sir ^w^
10/11/21, 11:50 PM
Option 1- werewolves, please