Recent Comments

10/12/21, 6:21 AM
The admission it excited him but he's confused why feels a little flat and unrealistic. The random submission to drink a bottle doesn't seem like much of a big deal. The timeline does tho. He wakes up after a dream that's probably really too soon to be having especially after the brutality from earlier which would be on his mind instead, gets fed a bottle and then pretty quickly goes back to sleep. I kind of was more interested in the initial dream and seeing where that went granted he needs anal recovery. As I said earlier I think a good cop approach would have been much better since we're avoiding, magic, drone tech, and other fantasy elements in many other stories. Making him feel his tender behind and grabbing his balls might be enticing but for the purpose of changing someone just a bit it's unlikely to work. A different good cop would be needed, ideally someone who helps after a hard time. Another approach to take could be stockholme syndrome or similar, but that takes a while. The therapy method also just isn't really the case with most horrible bullies (And as a sidenote there's two now maybe three given how Titan acted. Bright already identifying himself as one as well, whatever you want to call it to make him seem not as bad). They choose to be horrible because they denigrate others in their minds and gain power from it. His homophobia isn't fear but toxicity and as a result he won't ever shake from it unless someone pretty much saves his life and even that might not be enough. He still needs a doctor too. As always, I am curious how it'll develop.

10/12/21, 4:04 PM
Dude....@Astradei
easdf
10/12/21, 1:36 PM
I kinda feel bad for Trevor. I mean, he took care of the others and on their first chance they betrayed him (though I didn't understand if all them came back to normal minus one inch or if Trevor is fucked (no pun intended) for life) Anyway, definitely option 2. Seems like the one with the most potential and with the added plus it will show them that they can gain from working with the cards

10/12/21, 1:52 PM
@easdf I agree with you about Trevor, can you throw him a bone
10/12/21, 11:45 AM
It just occurred to me what a little devil Ruby is. He gave Christian a couple of suppositories and then proceeded to pass him off to Titan without warning him. That should be hilarious when it plays out. I can't wait.
Oct 10, 2021
10/12/21, 11:27 AM
I love listening to old school leathermen talk about their experiences so much. Thank you for sharing this story and these insights with us.
easdf
10/12/21, 11:22 AM
This was excellent! Creative idea and you handled the plot great even though you have a lot of characters. I'm a bit confused about the sex videos scene though. Who was that man and how did he get in? Also (and mostly) I'm surprised that Trevor just let him go without beating his ass or demanding that he will take the videos off the internet. Seemed like the obvious thing to do and Trevor is a clever and kind hearted man (you can tell who's my favorite)
10/12/21, 11:15 AM
Wow! This chapter was amazing. Really seeing different sides to everyone and it makes me want to see more of these characters and get to know them better.
10/12/21, 10:59 AM
I really like where this is going. Ruby is going to bring out a whole different side of this cop.
Kent
10/12/21, 10:34 AM
2!!!
10/12/21, 7:45 AM
Wonderful, as always!
10/11/21, 12:24 AM
Obviously the white noise and hypnotic stuff is fantasy added to explain slight changes in future chapters. From what I can tell other than forgetting to remove the jock from his mouth and pain randomly disappearing, there weren't too many problems except when it came to the tail and beating of course, forced in to a virgin behind with only a finger a typical plug tail will either fail to go in (many have to work their way up to it or only get it in after intense anal) or cause a rupture and bleeding, I've encountered that personally. I suspect he'd need a doctor right now. So anything further will cause some serious problems. As for feedback, psychology shows changes rarely cement otherwise this is called a paradigm shift. These are intensely rare. But you'll never get anywhere without the good cop to the bad cop and positive reinforcement statistically works better. All this is to say a better temporary submission would occur from seeing the Alpha play with his pups and just being around and for some individual who has not shown any negativity or could be relatable to the officer to actually engage with him and only show positivity. Ruby should have been that no sexual bondage or toying just kindness, chats (though he isn't allowed to talk now he obviously will still), relatable stories, and then the positive of pup play. Surprised the Alpha didnt reign in his pup for basically internally injuring and failing to cause any connection. Having to have a "doctor friend" unrealistic as that is, come over for the officer could have put some perspective and been a good character development for all the pups. Maybe even punish some of the other pups. I highly suspect the paddle has been used on them among other things given the dialog throughout chapters about punishments. Anyway, that's my feedback for this chapter, curious to see the next.

10/11/21, 2:35 AM
I cannot decide if your deep dive analysis of this thing I write with one hand on my dick and the other on my keyboard is highly impressive or mildly annoying. I do appreciate the insightful feedback and hope your at least enjoying the story enough that you can get off to it. @Astradei

10/12/21, 6:26 AM
Since it isn't magic or technology etc then it has the potential to be something we might imagine maybe happening. Weaknesses in that or even just different thoughts are pointed out because of the breach of immersion. With exceptions other than the writing quality itself, there's not much I can give feedback on in fantasy spiral stories unless a character is just toxic. Sometimes the good guy is shit though. @Alpha Artemis