Recent Comments

5/26/22, 5:40 AM
yes it would be good to be taken and mind reduced
5/25/22, 10:34 AM
Pretty impressive, and definitely a hot concept. As others have said, it does feel written in a hurry. The fact that it was done on commission is irrelevant, from a pure _technical writing_ perspective it's just... it has a bit of a first-draft feel. A couple of specific suggestions: 1. There's actually only one instance (that I caught) of character-name confusion, which is better than average TBH, but in this sentence: "Nate got more jeers and laughs from the lads, but Nate stepped in." the second "Nate" should be "Sean". 2. Using two completely different meanings for "tank" simultaneously is distracting. I would change all instances of "tank" as a storage container for — well, I guess cum — to "vat". (Which you actually do also use at one point, but then slip back into "tank".) Because, for example, this: > Sean continued “You were always gonna come here man! I knew you would THE SECOND they said they needed a tank to take all this-“ he slapped his hand onto the huge tank, collected partly from the huge freak that was being drained beside him. would be way easier to follow like this: > Sean continued “You were always gonna come here man! I knew you would THE SECOND they said they needed a tank to take all this-“ he slapped his hand onto the huge vat, collected partly from the huge freak that was being drained beside him.
5/24/22, 11:54 PM
I'd say change his stats, but confront rusty seems to be winning, whoops. excited to see where this goes! here's hoping we can guide the story towards rusty facing consequences for being such a jerk
5/24/22, 12:49 AM
I feel like I've read this story before. Was it previously posted? Did the commissioner have you doing a re-write of an existing story? Also... linking to your tumblr at the end destroys the anonymity for contest purposes, the reviewer should have caught that and eliminated the link. That out of the way, I did enjoy this story because it appeals to my fetishes. I particularly love any scene where a musk-controller pulls the victim's head into his armpit - I'll take that over "look into my eyes" any day of the week. The transformation sequence was fairly well done and was certainly enjoyable. The twist of needing a smarter victim to start with because of the dumbing down nature of the muscle growth transformation is a neat gimmick, though not a new one I don't think (again... that nagging feeling I've read this story before!) The story did need some editing passes for typos and clarity. I tend to enjoy stories by this author, though this one is very hot it's not actually his best writing. Other stories by him have better polish and tighter editing.

Tight Stories
5/24/22, 3:17 AM
@amul Its my story but you have a point about my tumblur, ill remove the story and repost blank as I don't wanna be seen to cheat or anything.

Tight Stories
5/24/22, 3:20 AM
@amuli turns out I can edit it. :) so I removed my tumblur. I had no intention of ruining it. Plus thanks for ya kind words. I wrote it by comission and thought it fitted perfectly. You may have seen shared on tumblur as I posted it there too.

Martin
5/24/22, 7:52 PM
@The Author (name hidden due to challenge) Thanks for removing the link. Reposting an older story for a challenge is fine, as long as it hasn't been posted on GSS before.
5/24/22, 5:38 PM
oh very nice will have dreams about thiss
5/23/22, 8:33 PM
No, not Cubster! Professor remains, and I'm rooting for the bad guy. Can't wait till next chapter!

5/24/22, 3:21 AM
@Essex Always fun to root for the bad guys👹 Thanks for commenting!
5/24/22, 1:35 AM
I get the impression that the professor plans on keeping his new slaves after the game. I like his thinking.

5/24/22, 3:20 AM
@Marik29 😈
5/23/22, 7:08 AM
Some great ideas and imagery here, but I definitely get the sense this one was written in a hurry, which would account for some of the typos and leaps in character logic.

Tight Stories
5/23/22, 2:02 PM
@Hypnothrill it was a comission from a fan, so I was obligated to follow their plot and character stuff. But I agree its a bit quick yeah. Fair points made
Anonymous
5/23/22, 10:52 AM
I loved the original series so I’m so happy to see this back - poor Lee though, was hoping he’d pull through. Very happy to see Victor back too. His punishment in the first series was very hot. Great work!

5/23/22, 2:00 PM
@Anon TYSM! Loved your comment and glad you enjoyed the first season. Having Tyrell and Victor back as characters will be fun. Hope to see more of your thoughts on the new series as it goes on. Cheers!
5/23/22, 3:05 AM
Honestly I really can’t wait to see jay fall under and ngl i’d love it if you make them all do stuff while they fall deeper under control