Recent Comments

6/18/22, 2:32 AM
Great job! I feel Stanley is in for a rough year. I will really enjoy the friction between their current and prior relationship: Stanley feeling he should be more humane to his former friend, Marcus trying to ensure the success of the experiment. Now that Stanley signed and midnight has past, I will enjoy seeing Marcus's true colors. Marcus should post the contract on the fridge to remind Stanley that 1) he's getting paid and 2) no matter how bad it seems, it'll only last a year. There is the alternative where Marcus used invisible ink on the contract but it depends on how psycho you're trying to portray Marcus.
6/18/22, 12:39 AM
Enjoyed this! Would love to see more from this world
6/17/22, 3:29 PM
I'm not sure the title fits the story when it seems like everything turned out for the best. I do so love a happy ending.

6/17/22, 3:43 PM
@goodbiforever 100% agree, i struggle with titles tbh. Any suggestions?

6/17/22, 10:30 PM
@PuffDeamon I like "How I Became Possessed by a Demon," myself He doesn't have his body taken over, as one would expect from the phrase. Instead he ends up a possession OF the demon. So it's kind of intentionally misleading and mildly punny.

6/17/22, 11:25 PM
@goodbiforever I like a punny name. I considered calling it simply demon slave, hoping that the reader would assume Jakob get's to own a demon slave instead of becoming a demon slave himself. Titles are hard XD
Anonymous
6/17/22, 9:02 PM
Really hot story, please continue
Frory
6/17/22, 7:24 PM
Ah yes, I love captain planet theme.
Anonymous
6/17/22, 6:57 PM
What a great story. Original idea and very well written. And hot! You’ve created a whole new universe here. I hope you will continue it!
6/17/22, 5:09 PM
I'd definitely love to see whatever other ideas you have for these characters, this was great and I'd love to see more!
6/17/22, 2:02 PM
This is so hot. I can't wait to see what happens next to Stanley. I wonder if Marcus actually likes him, or if he's just in the market for an obedient slave. Can't wait to see what he does to him next, and what kinks could be involved later in the story. I mean, I still feel bad for Stanley. But eventually he'll be all for it I assume
6/17/22, 12:22 PM
Wonder when will this be updated
6/16/22, 4:21 PM
For Tony's "buyer" it would be nice if it was shown he was not a monster. In the first chapter Marcus seems like a semi-decent guy with a fetish and now he's a psychopath.

6/16/22, 4:46 PM
@Frapsity I honestly see that. I cover both Marcus’s kind of ruthless nature and the reasons he acts that way sometimes down the line

6/16/22, 10:08 PM
@PuffDeamon I'm glad it's explained later! It seems like it goes beyond ruthless. He watched Tony involuntarily suffocating himself to near death without any emotions. A lack of empathy is one of the landmark symptoms of a sociopath/psychopath. I missed the line where Marcus feels sorry for Tony but that doesn't come across at all. That line seems like something you throw in so the narrator doesn't get added to a list of deviants the government monitors. This is what I meant by his buyer as not a monster: Scenario 1- where the buyer is a villain worthy of an Isekai anime or a Baron Harkonen analog. Scenario 2- he is a rich guy that gets off on "buying" slaves but treats them fairly. If scenario one is absolutely necessary for the story, then Marcus's empathy needs to be more clear. Like Tony was a test subject and needs to disappear, but he parlays with the buyer for slightly fairer treatment. In order to get Tony's "consent", coerced it may be, he takes care of a family member or dear friend of Tony's. If not even these are possible it should be explained why in some relatable way. Just my 2 cents for improving relatability and story immersion.

6/17/22, 8:16 AM
@Frapsity Thabk you, I love feedback and you make some excellent points. Reading it back i can see i didn’t flesh out Marcuss feelings on what he's doingit, mostly becaue i have such a clear view as to why, but his background doesn't get revealed until later, so i forgot the readers point of view would be that hes a monster. Spectator sees more of the game as they say.