Recent Comments

10/11/22, 1:07 AM
Every day I look to see if there is a continuation :):star_struck:
10/11/22, 12:39 AM
Loved the whole series. Definitely all possible.
10/10/22, 4:34 PM
Just because Luke did not cast the spell with Scott present doesn't mean he didn't cast it back at the ROTC barracks, without Scott being aware. That would tie up loose ends for Luke and also keep Scott from seeking (and, possibly, finding) help before he found himself inescapably in Luke's thrall. A couple more chapters showing us that someone who screws up is not the only one to suffer consequences would be a very military style lesson for Luke to teach Alex and Scott. Also, it would be even hotter if Scott was straight to begin with, not just transforming into a complete slave, but transforming from straight to gay at the same time. Perhaps, halfway through the change or so, he becomes aware of what is happening to him, but is too far along to do anything about his transformation. Just some thoughts about how this very hot story could be longer and hotter.

10/10/22, 11:02 PM
@[ControlMe](/user/show/2615973) And that was the threat Luke made when he held up a piece of Scott's clothing. But As Luke said he wants those who want to be broken and molded so it wouldn't really fit for him to do it. But yes that would be a way to add more.
10/10/22, 4:07 PM
Wow, what a fun, arousing twist! 😛😛😛 I sure hope you'll share more with us from your kinky imagination! 😍

10/10/22, 10:59 PM
@[NeedControlling](/user/show/1223696) Thank you, glad you enjoyed it and you will see more. It will take time but I'll have more
10/10/22, 6:52 AM
You show great talent. The challenge for you is to now create an ongoing series. My preference is a Master a weak straight teen bullied by a group of jocks who he turns into effeminate smooth bottoms. But this is my idea and what ever you choose to write I will support you
Anonymous
10/10/22, 1:00 AM
One of my favorites that you've done

10/10/22, 4:22 AM
then you'll be real excited when i fix, the ending didn't realize i forgot part of it.
10/9/22, 4:48 AM
The misspellings were a bit offputting. The ending was logical but definitely left me unsatisfied. I can appreciate Luke controlling the situation, but it does darken his character when he makes Scott into a slave and that left a bad taste in my mouth. I generally enjoyed the overall arc of the story and commend you on writing this piece of work. Please keep writing in this vein so I can have something else to study and set up my military/police story writing.

10/9/22, 6:04 AM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) Grammer and mechanics are very much a weak spot, so I appreciate you reading through them. I can understand not liking the ending, I knew not everyone would but this was who Luke became as I wrote him and in part it's his fantasy, one he never expected to really happen and the way it did pissed him off. I do plan on writing more, I already have two other military themed stories in progress but it will be some time before either are done.

10/9/22, 5:41 PM
@[sirjocktrainer](/user/show/949652) On the grammar and mechanics point, I would recommend using the Read Aloud function in Microsoft Word to catch some of the odd-sounding sentences and phrases. I know it helps and even though I switched writing programs, I see having Microsoft Word read through the draft helps me a bunch. I think you should've made Luke's inner conflict part of the story. Conflict is really what drives any story and seeing that conflict in Luke would have made the change more understandable and more accessible to the reader. But it's a lesson learned and you yourself understood the choice you made. Again, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

10/9/22, 8:31 PM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) Read Aloud is so slow, but it would likely help. Do you write in something other than Word? Luke was never meant to be the focus of the story, it was always meant to be about Alex be careless and getting caught in his own spell with Scott to be the outside view, Luke was just the other side, it's why his chunks were either smaller or focused on Alex. Not sure which I'll post next but either a one-shot Military Drones story, or the first part of a series about a Seal that ends up making a deal.

10/9/22, 11:56 PM
@[sirjocktrainer](/user/show/949652) I switched to using Scrivener for my stories; I just liked that I could keep all the chapters together and see them grouped all together. Plus liked that there are elements to develop characters and places as well as keep notes. So Word nowadays is where I do my non-fiction writing and Scrivener is where I do my fiction writing. Whatever story you put out next, I'll be looking out for it. If you need someone to proofread the work, feel free to let me know.

10/10/22, 2:50 AM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) I'd never heard of Scrivener before, it looks like it build for large scale projects. If I remember I might very well reach out. Thanks.
Anonymous
10/8/22, 10:49 AM
Love it! Thanks for posting it.

10/10/22, 1:03 AM
@[Jock](/user/show/1004354) and i appreciate anyone bothering to read my work
Carus
10/9/22, 10:39 PM
Grammerly, even the free one, can often pick up misspellings that are spelled right but not the right word, so if you're looking then maybe give that a try otherwise I'm sure myself or somone else can help edit any stories.

10/9/22, 11:18 PM
@[Carus](/user/show/10001298) I tend to be too lazy to deal with those and just re read it myself. I might have to do more before I post the next story here.